A member at the recovery group on Wednesday morning gave a very interesting presentation on seasonal affective disorder & light therapy. This is a disorder where the lack of sunlight in the winter causes depression and other negative symptoms. A full spectrum light is used to simulate sunshine and reduce these symptoms. Thank you S. for the presentation.

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I was thinking that it might be a good idea to have a separate members blog. I originally started the blog as an experiment. So far it has been popular but it is limited in it's scope of ideas being limited to 4 authors. Are there any interested potential bloggers out there that are PSO members? I could set up a new blog page that would have a different login password.

If anyone is interested please comment.

A parasite of energy & time. A producer of untold hours of terror and suffering & feelings of hopelessness. This is my definition of anxiety. So much of my life and others have been used up fighting this thing. That general feeling of unease that contaminates everything. Not counting the sheer terror of the panic attack.

All the ways I have tried over the years to cope with this thing which includes prescription meds, exercise, deep breathing, group therapy, prayer, and many other not so helpful things like drinking and isolating. Some of these have helped in varying degrees.

If I would say one thing that has helped me lately is not to fight so hard. Accept the feelings I am having. When I truly accept my feelings of anxiety they have decreased dramatically. The sting is taken away. A good friend of mine has been looking into the Linden Method as a possible solution for anxiety. Does anyone have any experience with this method or thoughts on anxiety in general? Please comment!

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I was just thinking about medication and what a mixed blessing it is for us. Most, if not all of us, go through the med soul searching at one time or another. Should I or shouldn’t I? What kind should I try, what sorts of side effects are acceptable, do I need to increase or decrease, how do I know if I’m ready to stop? In my experience, it’s rare for someone to immediately happen upon the right med & dosage that eliminates symptoms without causing side effects and have that work for them long-term. Some are lucky and eventually win the medication lottery.

Even when it works well I think people hate to feel dependent on a pill for their mental well-being. It’s almost as though having to rely on medication is seen as some sort of personal failing. I often hear people speak of recovery in terms of medication status. People who can recover med-free are perceived to be somehow stronger or more advanced. That moral judgment can be tough for someone in pain who feels they require some pharmacological assistance but doesn’t want to take a “step backwards” in their recovery. At times choosing to take meds can feel like admitting defeat, even when they help you to feel better.

In the end it’s all about each person toting up the benefits versus costs to make informed decisions about an imperfect therapy and what’s important to their quality of life. We all have our own demons and our own paths.

By next Monday the PSO offices should be Rock-A-Bye-My-Baby lilac. A bit nursery sounding, but better than the scuffed-up Pestilent Peach we've had for the last 10 years. When I dropped by yesterday to check on the progress I was somewhat ...let's say... displeased to discover the painter was still priming after being in there 5 days. Apparently he got the message and things have been stepped up considerably. At this pace we should be open on schedule.

Mark & I have had a tough time spending money this week. Unusual for the two of us. Perhaps trying to buy air conditioners when it's -42C is a factor but who would have thought it's so hard to buy window blinds? So far we've picked 4 colours only to find out they're all discontinued. There's a lesson to anyone contemplating painting Rock-A-Bye-My-Baby lilac; don't expect to find matching blinds.

Well, I should get off to bed. Tomorrow's another grueling day of painter whipping and blind sample gazing. I might even order our new computer chairs. Dare to dream big.